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A Very Placeholder Christmas

by Placeholder Confidential

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1.
The Christmas Smash 02:32
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It’s Christmas day / all over the land Now is the time / to make amends Leave your hate and spite behind Feel the power of the Christmas smash It’s Christmas day / I’m all alone Ready for a fight/ and some egg nog Leave your hate and spite behind Feel the power of the Christmas smash It’s Christmas day / feeling festive I’ll take what’s mine / got a lot to give Leave your hate and spite behind Feel the power of the Christmas smash
2.
Under The Mistletoe 02:18
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I’ve waited for this day To get up the courage To ask you dance I know you’ve got lots of friends Asking for your time But I hope you can forget About them for a while Let’s go / under the mistletoe I’m a bit nervous I thought I was prepared But I’m still scared I know there’s lots of hard things And I should relax I need to get up my nerves Before I lose my chance Let’s go / under the mistletoe
3.
The Christmas Tower 03:06
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We got 4 hours In the car We'll build a tower To the stars Everywhere we go We'll see it from below Fill the night sky With flashing lights Come on come on come on let's go Come on out and play in the snow Come on come on come on let's go Come on out and play in the snow A thousand stories Of ornaments A massive glory You can see from space So much better Than your tree Our celebration Won't be denied Chorus It disappears Into the clouds With giant stockings Along the side Jolly St Nick Can't miss this Don't need a reindeer To be his guide Chorus We got 4 hours In the car We'll build a tower To the stars
4.
A Very Placeholder Christmas 02:36
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We’d like to wish you a very merry Christmas We hope you like our little snarky offering No need to doubt our pious intentions We just don’t care much for convention What it means to us Isn’t what it means to you We know it can be so beautiful And the real problem is people What it means to us, and means to you Doesn’t have to be approved No need for an angle just a point of view It’s not up to us to judge you But the sun rises on Christmas Day/ would you like to celebrate Our likes outweigh our differences/ we all have life sentences We wouldn’t ask where you’re from/ or where you wanna go We’ve held your place at the table/ it’s time to break bread
5.
Jesus Christ 02:01
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Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Happy Holidays x etc Some celebrate at midnight Some get up really early Some people go to church Some people count their blessings
6.
That's Magi! 02:43
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Here we go, here we go, here we go There’s no way they could have known Just how big this thing would grow Frankincense, gold and myrrh The Magi / Are all right They found their way along the stars They wouldn’t put a bow on a car They didn’t believe in elves Or living for themselves The Magi / Are all right The traveled far from the east Figured out Herod was a jerk Drop their gifts and disappeared Frankincense, gold and myrrh The Magi / Are all right Here we go, here we go, here we go There’s no way they could have known Just how big this thing would grow Frankincense, gold and myrrh The Magi / Are all right They found their way along the stars They wouldn’t put a bow on a car They didn’t believe in elves Or living for themselves The Magi / Are all right
7.
Your Smile Is The Tinder That Ignites A Forest 02:10
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There goes the world In love with a girl Your smile is the tinder that ignites a forest I never dreamed that I would see you again I remember how you left when I wanted you to stay But somehow you found your way here on Christmas Day What do I do? To get back with you A moment so tender that it almost got away I never dreamed that I would see you again Give thanks to the angels that guided you this way But somehow you found your way here on Christmas Day Forget about the gifts, forget about the tree Just don’t you dare, forget about me I think that it’s happening, and you won’t regret Whatever it was, that helped us reconnect It’s time to start Give way to my heart So simple a standard spark turns into a flame I can’t believe that I am seeing you again I’ll always remember the way that we met Because somehow you found your way here on Christmas Day
8.
Jenny's Second Christmas 04:24
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I can't afford to get you a gift To give your spirits a lift There's so much pressure to provide A reasonable alibi Won't you take a dream instead A truly warm sentiment Does it matter if it's wrapped Or falls apart like a rough draft Maybe we can change the way we feel And try to keep it real We're more than a list of obligations To prevent social shaming It's cool if you share and care The Holidays can be great But remember it's about human connection Not a trial by gluttony I’ll try to prove that I really care With a bit of dramatic flare I hope you like honest words Solemn oaths and support beams I will sing to the angels high Help us soar toward the sky We can make a sudden trip Watch the world disintegrate Maybe one chance is all I get To impress my beautiful friend I truly believe this is the way To make you feel the same We can pretend we have all the things That we think we need Because in the end we’re innocent And not holding anything
9.
Let's Get Warm 02:02
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Come on back to my house, before all the snow starts Let’s get warm you’ll hold me, we don’t need a fireplace The gifts are underneath the tree, and Santa’s done his part Let’s sip on some eggnog, we can go at our own pace We don’t have all the toys, but we really get along They can have the newest perks, and we’ll still be going strong Forget the stores it’s cold outside, it’s gonna be a long night You’ll get warm in my arms, I will hold you so tight So that you will know, I won’t ever really let you go You will see when you’re with me, you don’t need mistletoe Come on back to my house, before all the snow starts I’ll make sure you will smile, that’s makes me double smart Forget the stores it’s cold outside, it’s gonna be a long night You’ll get warm in my arms, I will hold you so tight doot do doots
10.
Mrs Claus, Oh My! 02:35
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Hey / What’s your name Do you need help / With your cookies I couldn’t help but notice your dress And wonder if you come here often I’d like to talk about your stockings Mistletoe and taking off rings It gets cold up north and you can use a friend Let me guide your sleigh tonight I’ve never been one for accepting gifts But would you grant my Christmas wish Would you like / A candy cane I can whip up / Some strong egg nog You’re staying home while he’s out No elves in the workshop You’ll be alone so here’s a thought Let’s misbehave and not get caught It gets cold up north and you can use a friend Let me guide your sleigh tonight I’ve never been one for accepting gifts So won’t you grant my Christmas wish You don’t have / To answer now I left my number / In a Christmas card You know how good you look in red And I’ve tried to get you outta my head You’re looking at me like a misfit toy Do you wanna know if I’ve been a good boy? It gets cold up north and you can use a friend Let me guide your sleigh tonight I’ve never been one for accepting gifts But would you grant my Christmas wish Good evening / Mrs Claus Good morning / Mrs Claus
11.
Children Behave 03:00
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On the 24th day of the final month The elves tell Santa who's naughty or nice No one knows how they keep score So that means no one is safe Mind your manners and chew your food And don't stay up too late So children have to behave To get all the really cool toys It's all up to you Unless you want a lump of coal You better think twice when you talk back Santa's spies are watching over you So be sure to say please and thank you You never know who's listening Mind your manners and chew your food And don't stay up too late So children have to behave To get all the really cool toys It's all up to you Unless you want a lump of coal
12.
All The World 02:29
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All the world is in a rage Making lists and saving pennies We tell our stories on the biggest stage And pass along important recipes All over the world we teach lessons All the boys and girls look up to us All the world is celebrating Different paths to the same thing Some folks like to be alone We all need someplace to go Invite them all into your kitchen And you can give the best present All over the world we teach lessons All the boys and girls look up to us All the world is celebrating Different paths to the same thing All the world is in a rage Making lists and saving pennies We tell our stories on the biggest stage And pass along important recipes All over the world we teach lessons All the boys and girls look up to us All the world is celebrating Different paths to the same thing All your friends have different views And line the streets and avenues In search or that special thing That makes us all human All over the world we teach lessons All the boys and girls look up to us All the world is celebrating Different paths to the same thing The children know more than you think But they are still listening All the world must celebrate Feel the love and forget the hate
13.
Our Love Is All We Need 02:21
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Oh wella If I bought you a comb And you bought me a watch None of that / would change a thing Because you’re my honey pie My gift is you/ and your gift is me Our love is all we need Our love is all we need Oh ah I can pick you up And you can drop me off People may stare/ at what we wear And wonder if we belong We use mistletoe / as a Christmas tree Our love is all we need Our love is all we need Solo Solo We can work with tidings Wrap up comfort and joy Just as long/ as you’re in my arms We’re as rich as kings and queens So put on your crown/ let’s take the town Our love is all we need Our love is all we need Oh wella If I bought you a comb And you bought me a watch None of that / would change a thing Because you’re my honey pie My gift is you/ and your gift is me Our love is all we need Our love is all we need
14.
Christmas Grind 04:23
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Christmas time is here to stay There’s just no getting away It’s like a tide that pulls you in To make it out you gotta swim Christmas time will always win Once you know it’s happening It grinds you down with a smile You may as well play a while Christmas time will chase you down Surrender before you drown You may think you’re having fun But it has you on the run
15.
Santa's Alarm Clock 03:20
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Someone make it stop / it just keep ringing Someone make it stop / what time is it? Someone make it stop / I’m on my way I know what day it is Someone make it stop/ it just keeps snowing Someone make it stop/ I’m already packed Someone make it stop/ Everyone wants Santa’s brand new bag The storm’s getting worse and I don’t wanna go Traffic is backed up from pole to pole The Missus sure will miss me for sure But it’s what a Claus must do
16.
He Said To Call Him Santa Claus 01:55
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He said to call him Santa Claus He said he knew that I’ve been nice He said to follow his sleigh The world must be repaid The world must be repaid He said to call him Santa Claus As many have before All hail Santa Claus The ice man from the north All hail Santa Claus His sleigh shall sally forth
17.
Red And Green Army / Christmas Will Tear Us Apart 03:36
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Tis the season to get in gear The end of the year is drawing near We will fill you days with joy Decorations you’ll adore Stand back and let us work We’re the red and green army Let us put up a wreath Throw some lights on the tree We can work with a manger Or try to keep it secular No one minds seeing Frosty Next to a nativity scene You can fill all the stockings We’ll throw glitter on them things You’ve never seen this much tinsel You will be so fucking cheerful We’re the red and green army We will fill you with glee We’re the red and green army We will fill you with glee Christmas will tear us apart
18.
Rise, Santa, Rise 05:02
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Rise, Santa, Rise Rise, Santa, Rise The children, are asleep tonight Rudolph’s, nose is bright The sky, is calling The sleigh, awaits it’s king Rise, Santa, Rise Rise, Santa, Rise For boys, and girls alike They dream, of their rites The sky, is calling The sleigh, awaits it’s king Rise, Santa, Rise Rise, Santa, Rise The gifts, have been arranged The world, calls your name The sky, is calling The sleigh, awaits it’s king
19.
A Christmas Singularity 04:10
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On a dark and dangerous path The robots are better at math They will outnumber us Look who’s talking now Ice Man will know / and try to warn us From his secret workshop / he’ll bide his time They’ll take the land and the coast But forget all about the north pole He’ll launch a counter attack On Johnny Five Alive So ho, ho ho / Santa knows He’ll be ignored / by our overlords He’ll throw away his famous list And give his elves torches He’ll build a giant arc He said that he’d be back Ice Man will know / and try to warn us From his secret workshop / he’ll bide his time Second part When the robots surprise The Ice Man will rise To drive his sleigh Through their hearts He’ll bring his famous reindeer And stomp out every outpost Grind though their vital gears And make them robot toast
20.
Romantic Twist Holiday Edition 02:21
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We may not like each other now But let’s give it another shot We can end up in each other’s arms And forgive each other for what went wrong A holiday with a romantic twist A fairy tale with a magic kiss A holiday with a romantic twist A fairy tale with a magic kiss I hope it doesn’t take too long I just wanna get along And spend a little time with you We can find something new Maybe if I look at you You will see me true You don’t need to wrap my gift If you can guess my wish A holiday with a romantic twist A fairy tale with a magic kiss A holiday with a romantic twist A fairy tale with a magic kiss Christmastime is the season Where you don’t need a reason To do something so sudden Even if you’ve done it before A holiday with a romantic twist A fairy tale with a magic kiss A holiday with a romantic twist A fairy tale with a magic kiss Bridge We may not like each other now But let’s give it another shot We can end up in each other’s arms And forgive each other for what went wrong A holiday with a romantic twist A fairy tale with a magic kiss A holiday with a romantic twist A fairy tale with a magic kiss Outro
21.
Silent Night For Hungry Hearts 04:14
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On a cold Christmas night A family uses broken lights To decorate a plastic tree And masquerade their misery They said Santa Claus is coming to town But no one has seen him around It's a holly jolly depression A silent night for hungry hearts There's a fire in a garbage can But no chestnuts or marshmallows No Christmas ghosts or carolers Just putrid smoke from the sewers No snowman’s coming to life No silver bells in the city tonight No rocking around the Christmas tree Little St Nick just passed us by The children come home before it's dark No reason to sleep before midnight They can see 4 gifts under the tree And dollar store charms in stockings They're looking for a nose so bright A miracle on a holy night Someone shouts ba rump a bum bum But no one can hear their drum Solo Will all your joy and good will Pay the gas and electric bill? Work and work and work some more No more layaway at my store We wish you a Merry Christmas We think we’ll miss this one But there’ll be no Happy New Year So in excelsis deo The children come home before it's dark No reason to sleep before midnight They can see 4 gifts under the tree And dollar store charms in stockings They're looking for a nose so bright A miracle on a holy night Someone shouts ba rump a bum bum But no one can hear their drum On a cold Christmas night A family uses broken lights To decorate a plastic tree And masquerade their misery They said Santa Claus is coming to town But no one has seen him around It's a holly jolly depression A silent night for hungry hearts
22.
Xmas On Mars 02:34
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Sparks will fly / in the Martian sky And bounce off stars / just like Christmas lights Giant ray guns and / tiny little trees Ride the red frontier/ with the world at peace I think I see Santa’s sleigh Riding in on a scarlet wave Being led by astrodeer Spreading Martian Christmas cheer We terraform so/ plants can grow And we can hang/ some mistletoe Wash our plates /and clear the sink Then heat up/ Barsoom Berry drinks Grab your friends And some sleds To slide on down The Olympus Mons We’re on the ground /in outer space And wrapping gifts /in an airtight place We miss the earth /but let’s be clear It’s mostly just /the atmosphere Sparks will fly / in the Martian sky And bounce off stars / just like Christmas lights Giant ray guns and / tiny little trees Ride the red frontier/ with the world at peace I think I see Santa’s sleigh Riding in on a scarlet wave Being led by astrodeer Spreading Martian Christmas cheer We’re on the ground /in outer space And wrapping gifts /in an airtight place We miss the earth /but let’s be clear It’s mostly just /the atmosphere
23.
The Laserblast Christmas Special 02:11
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Billy found a laser gun under his tree Turned him Grinch now he’s killing things The local folk shoulda been nice The pendant got him all Carrie White When will these aliens take back their gift How will these aliens judge this kid What if these aliens have a plan? To teach us about the king Here’s a lesson in bullying You could end up exploding They must have been on the naughty list Because they ended up in tiny bits When will these aliens take back their gift How will these aliens judge this kid What if these aliens have a plan? To teach us about the king Solo Why would these aliens leave it here Don’t they know we live in fear Did they think it’d make us sing And leave us all caroling Things don’t end well for poor Billy The aliens put an end to him Take their toys and go back home To play with their alien kids No vocals / oohs The Laserblast Christmas Special Probably isn’t for everyone Someone turns green from a gun But the aliens were Santa hats
24.
Put My Soul To Bed And Wake Me Up On New Year's Day 02:21
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I guess, it’s that time again To hide away from my friends Because, it’s not nice to say That I don’t want to celebrate Every year’s the same It’s not worth explaining That I want no gift exchange It just doesn’t feel right So, put my soul to bed And wake it up on New Year’s Eve Please, put my soul to bed We’ll hang out New Year’s Day
25.
Xmas Girl 2018 02:20
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Take your trinkets and your ornaments Your bag of toys and false sentiments Mistletoe and red green clothes I used to hope for something more It’s Christmas time so leave me alone No such thing as a day at home When I was a little boy I used to hope for something more
26.
Santa Killer 02:48
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(Byrne, Frantz, Weymouth) I can’t seem to fit into these pants I look so silly, in a red hat I can’t sleep, I got elves to hire Where’s Tim Allen so I can retire? Santa Killer, qu'est-ce que c'est? Fa la la la la, fa la la la la Better ride off, into my sleigh Ho, ho, ho, ho, jingle all the way You start a Christmas list, you never finish it You ask for a lot, but you don’t give anything When I ask for cookies, I get cheap ones I checked my list once, I’ll check it again Santa Killer, qu'est-ce que c'est? Fa la la la la, fa la la la la Better ride off, into my sleigh Ho, ho, ho, ho, jingle all the way No puedo hablar frances, feliz navidad Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph I have a list of the good people But it’s really just a suggestion Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah His nose is red, his nose is bright He will guide my sleigh tonight Santa Killer, qu'est-ce que c'est? Fa la la la la, fa la la la la Better ride off, into my sleigh Ho, ho, ho, ho, jingle all the way

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released December 19, 2018

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Placeholder Confidential Kearny, New Jersey

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