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1. |
The Christmas Smash
02:32
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It’s Christmas day / all over the land
Now is the time / to make amends
Leave your hate and spite behind
Feel the power of the Christmas smash
It’s Christmas day / I’m all alone
Ready for a fight/ and some egg nog
Leave your hate and spite behind
Feel the power of the Christmas smash
It’s Christmas day / feeling festive
I’ll take what’s mine / got a lot to give
Leave your hate and spite behind
Feel the power of the Christmas smash
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2. |
Under The Mistletoe
02:18
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I’ve waited for this day
To get up the courage
To ask you dance
I know you’ve got lots of friends
Asking for your time
But I hope you can forget
About them for a while
Let’s go / under the mistletoe
I’m a bit nervous
I thought I was prepared
But I’m still scared
I know there’s lots of hard things
And I should relax
I need to get up my nerves
Before I lose my chance
Let’s go / under the mistletoe
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3. |
The Christmas Tower
03:06
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We got 4 hours
In the car
We'll build a tower
To the stars
Everywhere we go
We'll see it from below
Fill the night sky
With flashing lights
Come on come on come on let's go
Come on out and play in the snow
Come on come on come on let's go
Come on out and play in the snow
A thousand stories
Of ornaments
A massive glory
You can see from space
So much better
Than your tree
Our celebration
Won't be denied
Chorus
It disappears
Into the clouds
With giant stockings
Along the side
Jolly St Nick
Can't miss this
Don't need a reindeer
To be his guide
Chorus
We got 4 hours
In the car
We'll build a tower
To the stars
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4. |
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We’d like to wish you a very merry Christmas
We hope you like our little snarky offering
No need to doubt our pious intentions
We just don’t care much for convention
What it means to us
Isn’t what it means to you
We know it can be so beautiful
And the real problem is people
What it means to us, and means to you
Doesn’t have to be approved
No need for an angle just a point of view
It’s not up to us to judge you
But the sun rises on Christmas Day/ would you like to celebrate
Our likes outweigh our differences/ we all have life sentences
We wouldn’t ask where you’re from/ or where you wanna go
We’ve held your place at the table/ it’s time to break bread
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5. |
Jesus Christ
02:01
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Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Happy Holidays x etc
Some celebrate at midnight
Some get up really early
Some people go to church
Some people count their blessings
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6. |
That's Magi!
02:43
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Here we go, here we go, here we go
There’s no way they could have known
Just how big this thing would grow
Frankincense, gold and myrrh
The Magi / Are all right
They found their way along the stars
They wouldn’t put a bow on a car
They didn’t believe in elves
Or living for themselves
The Magi / Are all right
The traveled far from the east
Figured out Herod was a jerk
Drop their gifts and disappeared
Frankincense, gold and myrrh
The Magi / Are all right
Here we go, here we go, here we go
There’s no way they could have known
Just how big this thing would grow
Frankincense, gold and myrrh
The Magi / Are all right
They found their way along the stars
They wouldn’t put a bow on a car
They didn’t believe in elves
Or living for themselves
The Magi / Are all right
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7. |
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There goes the world
In love with a girl
Your smile is the tinder that ignites a forest
I never dreamed that I would see you again
I remember how you left when I wanted you to stay
But somehow you found your way here on Christmas Day
What do I do?
To get back with you
A moment so tender that it almost got away
I never dreamed that I would see you again
Give thanks to the angels that guided you this way
But somehow you found your way here on Christmas Day
Forget about the gifts, forget about the tree
Just don’t you dare, forget about me
I think that it’s happening, and you won’t regret
Whatever it was, that helped us reconnect
It’s time to start
Give way to my heart
So simple a standard spark turns into a flame
I can’t believe that I am seeing you again
I’ll always remember the way that we met
Because somehow you found your way here on Christmas Day
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8. |
Jenny's Second Christmas
04:24
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I can't afford to get you a gift
To give your spirits a lift
There's so much pressure to provide
A reasonable alibi
Won't you take a dream instead
A truly warm sentiment
Does it matter if it's wrapped
Or falls apart like a rough draft
Maybe we can change the way we feel
And try to keep it real
We're more than a list of obligations
To prevent social shaming
It's cool if you share and care
The Holidays can be great
But remember it's about human connection
Not a trial by gluttony
I’ll try to prove that I really care
With a bit of dramatic flare
I hope you like honest words
Solemn oaths and support beams
I will sing to the angels high
Help us soar toward the sky
We can make a sudden trip
Watch the world disintegrate
Maybe one chance is all I get
To impress my beautiful friend
I truly believe this is the way
To make you feel the same
We can pretend we have all the things
That we think we need
Because in the end we’re innocent
And not holding anything
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9. |
Let's Get Warm
02:02
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Come on back to my house, before all the snow starts
Let’s get warm you’ll hold me, we don’t need a fireplace
The gifts are underneath the tree, and Santa’s done his part
Let’s sip on some eggnog, we can go at our own pace
We don’t have all the toys, but we really get along
They can have the newest perks, and we’ll still be going strong
Forget the stores it’s cold outside, it’s gonna be a long night
You’ll get warm in my arms, I will hold you so tight
So that you will know, I won’t ever really let you go
You will see when you’re with me, you don’t need mistletoe
Come on back to my house, before all the snow starts
I’ll make sure you will smile, that’s makes me double smart
Forget the stores it’s cold outside, it’s gonna be a long night
You’ll get warm in my arms, I will hold you so tight
doot do doots
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10. |
Mrs Claus, Oh My!
02:35
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Hey / What’s your name
Do you need help / With your cookies
I couldn’t help but notice your dress
And wonder if you come here often
I’d like to talk about your stockings
Mistletoe and taking off rings
It gets cold up north and you can use a friend
Let me guide your sleigh tonight
I’ve never been one for accepting gifts
But would you grant my Christmas wish
Would you like / A candy cane
I can whip up / Some strong egg nog
You’re staying home while he’s out
No elves in the workshop
You’ll be alone so here’s a thought
Let’s misbehave and not get caught
It gets cold up north and you can use a friend
Let me guide your sleigh tonight
I’ve never been one for accepting gifts
So won’t you grant my Christmas wish
You don’t have / To answer now
I left my number / In a Christmas card
You know how good you look in red
And I’ve tried to get you outta my head
You’re looking at me like a misfit toy
Do you wanna know if I’ve been a good boy?
It gets cold up north and you can use a friend
Let me guide your sleigh tonight
I’ve never been one for accepting gifts
But would you grant my Christmas wish
Good evening / Mrs Claus
Good morning / Mrs Claus
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11. |
Children Behave
03:00
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On the 24th day of the final month
The elves tell Santa who's naughty or nice
No one knows how they keep score
So that means no one is safe
Mind your manners and chew your food
And don't stay up too late
So children have to behave
To get all the really cool toys
It's all up to you
Unless you want a lump of coal
You better think twice when you talk back
Santa's spies are watching over you
So be sure to say please and thank you
You never know who's listening
Mind your manners and chew your food And don't stay up too late
So children have to behave
To get all the really cool toys
It's all up to you
Unless you want a lump of coal
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12. |
All The World
02:29
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All the world is in a rage
Making lists and saving pennies
We tell our stories on the biggest stage
And pass along important recipes
All over the world we teach lessons
All the boys and girls look up to us
All the world is celebrating
Different paths to the same thing
Some folks like to be alone
We all need someplace to go
Invite them all into your kitchen
And you can give the best present
All over the world we teach lessons
All the boys and girls look up to us
All the world is celebrating
Different paths to the same thing
All the world is in a rage
Making lists and saving pennies
We tell our stories on the biggest stage
And pass along important recipes
All over the world we teach lessons
All the boys and girls look up to us
All the world is celebrating
Different paths to the same thing
All your friends have different views
And line the streets and avenues
In search or that special thing
That makes us all human
All over the world we teach lessons
All the boys and girls look up to us
All the world is celebrating
Different paths to the same thing
The children know more than you think
But they are still listening
All the world must celebrate
Feel the love and forget the hate
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13. |
Our Love Is All We Need
02:21
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Oh wella If I bought you a comb
And you bought me a watch
None of that / would change a thing
Because you’re my honey pie
My gift is you/ and your gift is me
Our love is all we need
Our love is all we need
Oh ah I can pick you up
And you can drop me off
People may stare/ at what we wear
And wonder if we belong
We use mistletoe / as a Christmas tree
Our love is all we need
Our love is all we need
Solo
Solo
We can work with tidings
Wrap up comfort and joy
Just as long/ as you’re in my arms
We’re as rich as kings and queens
So put on your crown/ let’s take the town
Our love is all we need
Our love is all we need
Oh wella If I bought you a comb
And you bought me a watch
None of that / would change a thing
Because you’re my honey pie
My gift is you/ and your gift is me
Our love is all we need
Our love is all we need
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14. |
Christmas Grind
04:23
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Christmas time is here to stay
There’s just no getting away
It’s like a tide that pulls you in
To make it out you gotta swim
Christmas time will always win
Once you know it’s happening
It grinds you down with a smile
You may as well play a while
Christmas time will chase you down
Surrender before you drown
You may think you’re having fun
But it has you on the run
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15. |
Santa's Alarm Clock
03:20
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Someone make it stop / it just keep ringing
Someone make it stop / what time is it?
Someone make it stop / I’m on my way
I know what day it is
Someone make it stop/ it just keeps snowing
Someone make it stop/ I’m already packed
Someone make it stop/ Everyone wants
Santa’s brand new bag
The storm’s getting worse and I don’t wanna go
Traffic is backed up from pole to pole
The Missus sure will miss me for sure
But it’s what a Claus must do
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16. |
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He said to call him Santa Claus
He said he knew that I’ve been nice
He said to follow his sleigh
The world must be repaid
The world must be repaid
He said to call him Santa Claus
As many have before
All hail Santa Claus
The ice man from the north
All hail Santa Claus
His sleigh shall sally forth
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17. |
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Tis the season to get in gear
The end of the year is drawing near
We will fill you days with joy
Decorations you’ll adore
Stand back and let us work
We’re the red and green army
Let us put up a wreath
Throw some lights on the tree
We can work with a manger
Or try to keep it secular
No one minds seeing Frosty
Next to a nativity scene
You can fill all the stockings
We’ll throw glitter on them things
You’ve never seen this much tinsel
You will be so fucking cheerful
We’re the red and green army
We will fill you with glee
We’re the red and green army
We will fill you with glee
Christmas will tear us apart
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18. |
Rise, Santa, Rise
05:02
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Rise, Santa, Rise
Rise, Santa, Rise
The children, are asleep tonight
Rudolph’s, nose is bright
The sky, is calling
The sleigh, awaits it’s king
Rise, Santa, Rise
Rise, Santa, Rise
For boys, and girls alike
They dream, of their rites
The sky, is calling
The sleigh, awaits it’s king
Rise, Santa, Rise
Rise, Santa, Rise
The gifts, have been arranged
The world, calls your name
The sky, is calling
The sleigh, awaits it’s king
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19. |
A Christmas Singularity
04:10
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On a dark and dangerous path
The robots are better at math
They will outnumber us
Look who’s talking now
Ice Man will know / and try to warn us
From his secret workshop / he’ll bide his time
They’ll take the land and the coast
But forget all about the north pole
He’ll launch a counter attack
On Johnny Five Alive
So ho, ho ho / Santa knows
He’ll be ignored / by our overlords
He’ll throw away his famous list
And give his elves torches
He’ll build a giant arc
He said that he’d be back
Ice Man will know / and try to warn us
From his secret workshop / he’ll bide his time
Second part
When the robots surprise
The Ice Man will rise
To drive his sleigh
Through their hearts
He’ll bring his famous reindeer
And stomp out every outpost
Grind though their vital gears
And make them robot toast
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20. |
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We may not like each other now
But let’s give it another shot
We can end up in each other’s arms
And forgive each other for what went wrong
A holiday with a romantic twist
A fairy tale with a magic kiss
A holiday with a romantic twist
A fairy tale with a magic kiss
I hope it doesn’t take too long
I just wanna get along
And spend a little time with you
We can find something new
Maybe if I look at you
You will see me true
You don’t need to wrap my gift
If you can guess my wish
A holiday with a romantic twist
A fairy tale with a magic kiss
A holiday with a romantic twist
A fairy tale with a magic kiss
Christmastime is the season
Where you don’t need a reason
To do something so sudden
Even if you’ve done it before
A holiday with a romantic twist
A fairy tale with a magic kiss
A holiday with a romantic twist
A fairy tale with a magic kiss
Bridge
We may not like each other now
But let’s give it another shot
We can end up in each other’s arms
And forgive each other for what went wrong
A holiday with a romantic twist
A fairy tale with a magic kiss
A holiday with a romantic twist
A fairy tale with a magic kiss
Outro
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21. |
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On a cold Christmas night
A family uses broken lights
To decorate a plastic tree
And masquerade their misery
They said Santa Claus is coming to town
But no one has seen him around
It's a holly jolly depression
A silent night for hungry hearts
There's a fire in a garbage can
But no chestnuts or marshmallows
No Christmas ghosts or carolers
Just putrid smoke from the sewers
No snowman’s coming to life
No silver bells in the city tonight
No rocking around the Christmas tree
Little St Nick just passed us by
The children come home before it's dark
No reason to sleep before midnight
They can see 4 gifts under the tree
And dollar store charms in stockings
They're looking for a nose so bright
A miracle on a holy night
Someone shouts ba rump a bum bum
But no one can hear their drum
Solo
Will all your joy and good will
Pay the gas and electric bill?
Work and work and work some more
No more layaway at my store
We wish you a Merry Christmas
We think we’ll miss this one
But there’ll be no Happy New Year
So in excelsis deo
The children come home before it's dark
No reason to sleep before midnight
They can see 4 gifts under the tree
And dollar store charms in stockings
They're looking for a nose so bright
A miracle on a holy night
Someone shouts ba rump a bum bum
But no one can hear their drum
On a cold Christmas night
A family uses broken lights
To decorate a plastic tree
And masquerade their misery
They said Santa Claus is coming to town
But no one has seen him around
It's a holly jolly depression
A silent night for hungry hearts
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22. |
Xmas On Mars
02:34
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Sparks will fly / in the Martian sky
And bounce off stars / just like Christmas lights
Giant ray guns and / tiny little trees
Ride the red frontier/ with the world at peace
I think I see Santa’s sleigh
Riding in on a scarlet wave
Being led by astrodeer
Spreading Martian Christmas cheer
We terraform so/ plants can grow
And we can hang/ some mistletoe
Wash our plates /and clear the sink
Then heat up/ Barsoom Berry drinks
Grab your friends
And some sleds
To slide on down
The Olympus Mons
We’re on the ground /in outer space
And wrapping gifts /in an airtight place
We miss the earth /but let’s be clear
It’s mostly just /the atmosphere
Sparks will fly / in the Martian sky
And bounce off stars / just like Christmas lights
Giant ray guns and / tiny little trees
Ride the red frontier/ with the world at peace
I think I see Santa’s sleigh
Riding in on a scarlet wave
Being led by astrodeer
Spreading Martian Christmas cheer
We’re on the ground /in outer space
And wrapping gifts /in an airtight place
We miss the earth /but let’s be clear
It’s mostly just /the atmosphere
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23. |
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Billy found a laser gun under his tree
Turned him Grinch now he’s killing things
The local folk shoulda been nice
The pendant got him all Carrie White
When will these aliens take back their gift
How will these aliens judge this kid
What if these aliens have a plan?
To teach us about the king
Here’s a lesson in bullying
You could end up exploding
They must have been on the naughty list
Because they ended up in tiny bits
When will these aliens take back their gift
How will these aliens judge this kid
What if these aliens have a plan?
To teach us about the king
Solo
Why would these aliens leave it here
Don’t they know we live in fear
Did they think it’d make us sing
And leave us all caroling
Things don’t end well for poor Billy
The aliens put an end to him
Take their toys and go back home
To play with their alien kids
No vocals / oohs
The Laserblast Christmas Special
Probably isn’t for everyone
Someone turns green from a gun
But the aliens were Santa hats
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24. |
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I guess, it’s that time again
To hide away from my friends
Because, it’s not nice to say
That I don’t want to celebrate
Every year’s the same
It’s not worth explaining
That I want no gift exchange
It just doesn’t feel right
So, put my soul to bed
And wake it up on New Year’s Eve
Please, put my soul to bed
We’ll hang out New Year’s Day
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25. |
Xmas Girl 2018
02:20
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Take your trinkets and your ornaments
Your bag of toys and false sentiments
Mistletoe and red green clothes
I used to hope for something more
It’s Christmas time so leave me alone
No such thing as a day at home
When I was a little boy
I used to hope for something more
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26. |
Santa Killer
02:48
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(Byrne, Frantz, Weymouth)
I can’t seem to fit into these pants
I look so silly, in a red hat
I can’t sleep, I got elves to hire
Where’s Tim Allen so I can retire?
Santa Killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fa la la la la, fa la la la la
Better ride off, into my sleigh
Ho, ho, ho, ho, jingle all the way
You start a Christmas list, you never finish it
You ask for a lot, but you don’t give anything
When I ask for cookies, I get cheap ones
I checked my list once, I’ll check it again
Santa Killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fa la la la la, fa la la la la
Better ride off, into my sleigh
Ho, ho, ho, ho, jingle all the way
No puedo hablar frances, feliz navidad
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen
Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph
I have a list of the good people
But it’s really just a suggestion
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
His nose is red, his nose is bright
He will guide my sleigh tonight
Santa Killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fa la la la la, fa la la la la
Better ride off, into my sleigh
Ho, ho, ho, ho, jingle all the way
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